The 13 Laws of Girl Code

Voltaire once said, “common sense is not so common.” I was young and naive once, assuming every gal knew, believed, and followed the unspoken and unwritten, but oh-so-obvious rules of girl code. As I’ve gotten older, I realized from personal experience and others’ stories, a brutal truth: Voltaire’s words still apply β€” especially regarding Girl Code.

What is Girl Code, you ask? It’s sort of like the Holy Bible of Womanhood, a (not-so) common-sense guide to living with respect and decency for yourself and your fellow lady-friends. Without further ado – let us dive into the laws of the Girl Code.

1. Thou shall not go after him if your friend has cried over him.

2. Thou shall never go after your friend’s ex or your friend’s crush.

3. Thou shall not post sh*tty pictures of her on any social media sites.

It doesn’t matter how good you look in the photo. If you’re not sure, ask her first.

4. If thou’s close guy friend has a (new) GF, thou must make every effort to be sure his new GF doesn’t see you as a threat.

(Yes, listing all of the fun times you’ve had with that girl’s BF is a b**ch move.)

5. If thou is carrying a tampon/pad and a girl asks if thou has any, hand it over.

No one wants to be in that position. Plus, who knows, perhaps you’ll receive some good karma later.

6. If your friend is over the bowl puking from drinking, thou helps (or get just as drunk, JK).

7. If she has something in her teeth, thou must kindly and quietly gesture where it is so she can get that nastiness outta there.

8. If your friend throws a party and not that many people show up, thou must stay the whole night and have a good f***ing time.

(This rule really applies to everyone, though – male or female).

9. If you and your friend are with her crush, thou must do everything you possibly can to make her look good. (#HypeWoman)

10. If your friend will be meeting up with her crush and you are with her, thou can’t upstage her.

Meaning put the stripper shoes away and button up your shirt.

11. Thou must never look better than the bride at her wedding.

12. Storytime: I was waiting in line with a friend to go into a bar. There was a girl in front of me, and her bra tag was sticking out of her dress. My friend politely, without asking permission, tucked it back in for her. The girl turned around and said thanks so nonchalantly. I asked my friend if she knew her. She said no, but we gotta keep the ladies looking good.

13. Spot checking is critical. Also, if you can lend your friend a sweater or anything else to tie around her waist, you are a godsend.

That’s it, ladies. Class is now dismissed.

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